An Orgy for Two

X and I first met during an erotic massage session. Charged with the rare kind of potent chemistry that can make such a booking into a playful masterpiece of erotic exchange it was definitely an unforgettable coming together. Lying in each other's arms while the wash of X’s orgasm slowly mellowed, the conversation quickly became complex, philosophical,deeply personal, and vulnerable. Something just clicked. A wonderful connection built on similar curiosities, worldviews and shamelessness was discovered and nurtured. 

Months passed and the massage sessions slowly transitioned into longer brunch and hotel dates. The trust grew between us and in one of the rare cases of Client-Escort relationships, a friendship of sorts. Every date would feel too short, there was too much for us to talk about! We would share conversations about all things sex, the sex positive scene in Berlin and how to find other like minded, sexually curious and confident play partners. A dating profile would be established for X we figured, something to broaden the horizons of who they were coming in contact with during this period of inner discovery and change. Luckily for X, one of my skill sets includes portrait photography and I had the skills to produce the appropriate imagery for a personal profile. 

Finally a day was found during which we would spend together creating sexy, fun, confident imagery of X. And so I showed up for the first time on an Escort date– I was fully equipped with all sorts of lighting and camera equipment, props and images in my mind. This moment felt so special as I had been struggling to hold space for what felt like these two separate worlds of erotic and photographic work for some months. For a few hours, we held a space for my creative, erotic and playful character to show up as a fully integrated self. How simple and joyful it was. So powerful and fun to embody so many passions and forms of expression in one moment. 

And so as the time slipped by and we moved from the hotel room to the gym, pool, restaurant and back to the bedroom it felt we were an entourage of selves, walking through the hotel hallways in differing outfits and costumes. X’s dominant self, sporty self, handsome business self all had their moment in the spotlight- at times deeply confident and others vulnerable and nervous in the cameras presence. My whore persona, photographer self, lover self and all the archetypes they are linked to led the way. Our two bodies were almost bursting with the broadness of the expressions we were holding space for within ourselves and each other. It really felt like an orgy for two. 

As I edited the photoshoot in the coming days I was filled with immense gratitude at the trust X had placed in me for creating these images. As a person, who has up until this point in their life had little to no experience being the centre of a photoshoot, the images we had created were confident, sexy and playful. Stunning portraits capturing many aspects of their being and I was proud of the safe container I had created for them to feel comfortable in showing themselves in this very vulnerable context. I was also proud of the way I had shown up in excellence not just as an erotic service provider but also photographer. 

I wondered whether what I was feeling was similar to how clients feel, when we hold space for them to show up with all of the parts of themselves which they desire to show and have attention given to during a booking. As many clients will tell you, sessions with sex workers are often a sacred moment to fully bring all parts of themselves together in a container of precious vulnerability. The curious self, the horny self, the brave self, the scared self, the naughty self and often the hurt self who is looking for transformation of pain or rejection into acceptance and joy. Dates with sex workers can be peculiar encounters where the underlying pressure of classic dating dynamics to ‘sell oneself’ to a potential partner is shifted and put aside for a few hours. That’s not to say that I don’t see many of you putting your best foot forward and trying to impress me! But the clear dynamic between service provider and client can often feel more akin to a coach-client relationship, one could say. Raw and painful stories emerge quickly—traumas and deep desires to be seen in vulnerable moments of self-expression surface in ways that might otherwise take months (or years) to share with a new partner, if ever.

This phenomenon surprises me and doesn’t. Clients have nothing to lose in dropping the mask of the ‘happy, healed, strong’ self while lying in the arms of a sex worker. The ego can rest. Is it because of a subconscious cultural narrative that positions the whore as vagrant—also ‘other,’ also outside the norm—allowing those who feel different or rejected to find a kindred spirit? Perhaps. believe it has more to do with the enormous emotional sensitivity, empathy and emotional intelligence many sex workers carry. Whatever the reason, I treasure these moments and hold them with great tenderness. They allow space for me also to show different sides of myself–beyond the archetype of the seductress or temptress many may initially seek in a booking.